Round the Blue by Qodebreaker

I don’t know how long I had been standing there staring into the distance. I had heard that they could be unpredictable sometimes. It must have been hours since I threw the letter written with my own blood into the bottomless pit at the bottom of Kamuleka Falls.

I needed one of them to show up, so they could stop the world. Then I would get off.

Where would I go? I don’t know. I was just hoping they would rip the fabric of time and hurl me into some alternate universe. Where I could be a blue mango and get eaten by a hungry double headed Mokocha Giraffe. Or maybe I would be one breast of a Muse in some mythical Greek city.

Snap! As if any of that was going to happen. I had often considered whether it was worth it to go on. Visions of a new rope strangling my neck as i gasped for breath, legs kicking out and chunks of faecal matter flying about, scrawny fingers clawing at the rope. Heck no! That wasn’t going to be how I d exit. That would make me one ugly cadaver.

What about 3 packets of termic? The rat race sucks, how best to quit it than to take rat poison? But I had heard stories of people who took it and didn’t die but some of their intestines were cut into bloody offal pieces. Scrap that.

Rustling leaves, there they were, the spectators. Hollow, haughty and hungry eyes all waiting to witness my death. I could feel the palpable blood lust in the grins of some of them. I could hear the swan song of the hidden blades.

“Friend we understand your pain. How can we help you?”

“You are so messed up, I have never understood you. I think you complicate life for yourself”

“Kodi iwe umatani?”

Heck, half the time I didn’t understand why I was blue myself. Just one word, just one thought, just some circumstances and it was like my feet had been glued to a skateboard, placed on an oil smeared smooth incline. Twas one downhill fall from that moment on. Hitting boulders, trees didn’t seem to slow me down any.

I’d get to the bottom of the hill, battered, bruised and bleeding. Then it would start all over again. God in those times I hated my life. This cycle of highs and lows, Death often seemed to be a better way out.

As if! Maybe I m arrogant, maybe I am ignorant. Maybe I just understand that some cycles run for years like weather patterns but sometimes even the climate changes and the cycles are broken. The unbroken ring, the eternal roundness assumes a new shape, life begets a new meaning.

So instead of waiting for the gods to show up from the bottomless pit, I jumped in heart first.